Cheerier

Having re-read the past two posts I have determined not to be "debby downer" so much. Haha! Sheesh.


"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer."  Psalm 19:14

Now, I could take that Scripture and think that I should be super optimistic and cheerful all the time in everything I say and think.  And being that "a merry heart does good like a medicine" (Prov 17:22), I believe that's a good goal.  However, I know that God desires an honest and willing heart more than anything.  So, if I'm struggling with something, brushing it under the rug, pretending I've got it all together, what glory does that give to God?  Instead if I'm honest (with a bit of caution mixed in) during my experiences, how much more might that help someone out there?  We need to know we're not alone, that there is an answer (Jesus).  There is a peace for our wounded souls, our anxious hearts (Jesus).  There is a joy that wells up from deep inside during both the dark and bright times (Jesus).  There is a full and final forgiveness, grace that flows over us every moment of every day covering all our flaws. There is a loving Father who is not waiting for my next mistake to point it out and say "see, you are worthless, you are hopeless."  No, He is a gentle, compassionate God who's Holy Spirit fills my every fiber with His peace, His calm, His assurance when I have nothing left and whenever I choose to let Him do that.

Yesterday the sun was shining, it was not super hot and I got to teach 5 music lessons. The last one, Bella, is so precious.  Well, they're all precious actually in their own unique ways.  But Bella told me that she loves me so much because I "have so much patience with [her] when [she] doesn't understand and is so calm to help [her] learn new things".  It blessed my heart to hear that.  Made all the frustrations melt away and made my heart smile.

In the afternoon, my friend Carrie came by with her 8 1/2 month son and had lunch with us.  Brendan just loved on me and I adored holding him and rocking him to sleep.  In the evening, we spent time with friends Nate & Eliza with their two toddler sons and their youngest just followed me around all night.  Blessed my little heart so much.  Then we played Jump-In Uno, which I'm so slow at it's hilarious.  We laughed a lot and it was good for my soul.

Today will be LSAT study day.  I'll take the test on Monday afternoon and am having only a few nervous moments about it.  I keep remembering that I'm going back to law school because I want to, not because I have to.  I really believe that I have a purpose in that field and am really looking forward to it.

I spent the night nervous about an upcoming meeting with friends of ours.  We're doing their wedding on 7/2 but have discovered that we're also booked to do another friend's wedding that same day.  I'm sure it's not going to be a big deal.  I'll do the 1st couple's wedding with one of our other DJs and Mario will do the other one but I just hate disappointing people.  It is what it is, though, and both weddings will be awesome anyway.

I did take some medicine today to help calm my thoughts which were going in an uncontrollable cycle and I feel a little bit weak-minded every time I feel the need to take it.   But I believe that the Lord has helped me by leading me in that direction.  I don't take the medication regularly, always talk to Mario before I take one so that we can discuss why I'm taking it.  That way we make sure that I'm  not taking too much, too often and that we can cover whatever's going on with me in prayer.  I am grateful for a husband who cares for me that way.

I will sign off for today and hope the my words and thoughts glorify the Lord all day and all weekend.

Today the sun is shining, it's not super hot and I am going to enjoy studying.  What a good girl am I.  Signing off...be blessed and let His grace cover you today.