So here I am on a Monday night, sitting on the couch after a fun day hanging out with friend, Carrie & her little boy.
I have seen more of my family and friends the last 4 days than in the past three months. It's shocking to me, I keep telling everyone, that I'm already done with my 1st term of law school. I feel like I'm barely even used to being at school again and yet, I'm done with one term and only have 6 more to go. Wow.
God is so very good. Through the past months I've been overwhelmed, stressed, happy, tired (don't have any trouble falling asleep these nights) and yet, He's so very constant.
I have been honored with being elected as the president of the Christian Legal Society at school too. Very cool. AND I had an opportunity to pray with 5 of my classmates before finals. Not because I offered but because they gathered round and asked me to. That is humbling.
I'm happy and blessed to be in this place at this time. It is right and good and hard and fun and crazy and awesome all at the same time.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Grrrrr....
I have to take this Intro to Law class for no credits which takes up 2 hours of my Tuesday night for which I have to stay on Tuesdays from 9am until 6pm when it starts during which I am supposed to learn wonderful things like how to complete a multiple choice exam, how to brief a case, how to make an outline, effective ways to study, how to write an essay, and more. [excuse the stream of consciousness]
It all sounds great. But this class gives me homework too which would be awesome if I could use some of my homework from the other classes but it really doesn't work like that even though it's supposed to. Hmph.
What I'd really like is for them to give me some hints & helpful hints in the beginning of class, then let me apply it while completing some of my homework, briefs, outlines, practice exams. Instead, I get overwhelmed by all the things they're telling us we have to know by the end of the term instead of giving me a chance to use it today.
There. I'm done. Thanks.
It all sounds great. But this class gives me homework too which would be awesome if I could use some of my homework from the other classes but it really doesn't work like that even though it's supposed to. Hmph.
What I'd really like is for them to give me some hints & helpful hints in the beginning of class, then let me apply it while completing some of my homework, briefs, outlines, practice exams. Instead, I get overwhelmed by all the things they're telling us we have to know by the end of the term instead of giving me a chance to use it today.
There. I'm done. Thanks.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Vent
Well this post doesn't have anything to do with law school except that I need to get these thoughts colliding inside my head out of there so I can concentrate on the hours & hours of homework I have left to do.
Last night we DJ'd a wedding reception at the Gazebo in Warren, MI. We love the people there and the food is OUTSTANDING!!! Anway....
We had recommended to the couple a person that we knew could provide them with uplighting for their reception. By way of explanation, uplighting is colored lights placed on the floor around a large room, pointing up toward the ceiling creating a very classy, jazzy atmosphere. The hall wouldn't let any of us vendors in to set up until an hour before the reception was supposed to start.
The couple was very nice and we really enjoyed our meetings with them. The groom is head chef for a large, upscale series of restaurants in metro-Detroit and was understandably particular about the details for the reception. The lighting provider is a young man who also DJ's in the area. We had met him before at bridal shows and he has a very, let's see, self-promoting persona. [read: arrogant]
Mario & he have gotten along (who doesn't get along with Mario?) but he is part of a "clique" of DJs that I have never trusted nor respected. Still, Mario's always much better as "schmoozing" people and so I've just stayed out of any communications with these people.
While we were setting up, the lighting guy asked us if we would do him a favor & set the lights to "sound pulse" when we started the dancing and if we would pack them up for him at the end of the night so he didn't have to come pick it up after his DJ gig somewhere else. Mario said "no" but then asked me what I thought. Not having heard Mario say "no", I said "I guess so". I was busy setting up at the time and was already feeling irritated toward the light guy for being in the way.
The night progressed and eventually the groom approached me to ask where the light guy was, indicating their contract said he would have a rep at the reception to run the lights. Since I wasn't involved in their negotiations, I told him simply that I had said I would run them for the him. Groom didn't seem happy about it.
The night continued to progress and everyone, including groom, was having a blast. But the groom became more agitated about the lights throughout, repeatedly stating that he wanted them to be pulsing to the music and they weren't doing that. I didn't know how to make them pulse & my texts to lighting-man were either rudely answered or answered not at all. Groom became quite upset (thankfully not at me, he loved us) and was beginning to show quite a lot of bravado about what he was going to do, mentioning his lawyer and all that.
We have a new assistant with us, by the way, he's very energetic & very artsy. He & Mario make a fantastic team. He is also very protective of and loyal to his friends. He informed me that he heard lighting-man make some demeaning statements to my husband earlier during set up and that he was really quite upset about it. Between him & the groom, emotions were escalating a little more than I liked. But what could I do?
I remained calm, I "talked" both men "down" for the duration of the evening. I sent a facebook inbox to the lighting-man to indicate that I had done all I could to salvage the situation for him but the groom wasn't having it and was going to confront him soon about his disappointment. I knew the groom was sending rude texts to lighting-man, I knew lighting-man was trying to put the blame on us. I addressed that directly in my email, stating "it seemed that your messages to me were attempting to blame us for this but I'm sure that can't be what you meant since your phone was dying and you had to brief. This is between you and the groom and I am giving you a heads-up that he's not happy."
The night closed and we began to tear our equipment down. Groom was "hot" on this topic by now and was riling up our assistant pretty well too. I had already determined that I would never allow business to be done with lighting-man again but was still trying to calm everyone, stating that "I would handle it". It irked me that the gentlemen were not listening to me and trusting that I, as a woman and a business owner, could and would handle things. Mario was completely silent about it at this point.
We packed everything up & the groom came to us saying, "don't take those lights with you. I'm taking them until he talks to me about this situation." Well, that put us in a bit of a pickle for sure. Mario tried to convince him that we should take the lights with us but then groom wanted us to lie & tell lighting-man that we didn't have them. Well, that would make things a mess for sure. Our assistant ended up taking the lights after we had already gotten in the truck but the whole situation was a confused, dramatic mess. Thankfully, Mario & I maintained our cool & I hope were an example to those watching.
At 1:30am after we got home, lighting-man called Mario reeming him out about the lights saying he was going to report them stolen if he didn't get them back in the next 20 minutes. He also told Mario that he "lost the gig I was giving you for October 1st because of this." He hung up on Mario as he tried to speak with him. 10 minutes later he called back and I answered the phone. *Cue the scary music*
I wish you could have heard me. Lawyer training kicking in and I'm only in the 3rd week. He started the conversation by saying, "Angel. What the hell is going on?" To which I replied, "[name], please don't swear at me. We are going to act like adults and professionals and discuss things calmly or not at all." He paused and slightly switched gears.
Looooooooonnnnngggg story shortened, the conversation consisted of me refusing to back down or allow him to place any blame on us. He repeated that we wouldn't be getting the October 1st wedding from him now & I said, "[name], we never had a wedding from you. You never gave us a contract or a deposit. No contract, no money, no wedding. That's how I work, I don't do verbal agreements. That's not how our business is run. I am under no obligation to you for anything that occured tonight, we were doing you a favor and whatever you didn't fulfill in your contract with the groom is between you and him. Don't place blame on us, I did the best I could to save your butt." He told me he understood and that the call was being recorded. I asked him why and he said because he was going to file a stolen items report...I responded, "since this is being recorded, who are you filing the report against?" He said, "the groom [name]".
I said, well I think that's completely unnecessary and I then told him I would find his lights and would return them the next day. He said, "no I want them now". I said, "well I'm tired and I've already spent enough time on a problem that isn't mine. You will get them tomorrow." He acquiesed slightly and asked me to let him know when & where I found the lights. I agreed.
Thirty minutes later I texted him and let him know that we had found his lights and they were then in our possession (yes, this is at 2am). He texted back and said, "where are they angel". So I called, whilst rolling my eyes and muttering "hello, can't you read?!" When he answered, I informed him that our assistant had obtained the lights and they were now at our house. Mario would meet him in a Walmart parking lot at 1:30pm that day to give them to him. I apologized for the confusion and demanded an apology from him. I got it without hesitation on his part.
I also indicated we wouldn't be doing business with him in the future, it wasn't worth the confusion and drama. He understood. This morning I woke up to a return facebook inbox message apologizing profusely for his behavior but indicating that he understood that I didn't want to do business with him in the future.
I stayed up until 3:30am coming down from the "high" of being so firm and from scrambling to find a resolution. Grrrrrr.... Drama, drama, drama.
Ahhhh, thank you all for reading. I feel much better and can now do my homework.
Many blessings to you!! Oh, and moral of the story: don't mess with me or insult my husband. LOL
Last night we DJ'd a wedding reception at the Gazebo in Warren, MI. We love the people there and the food is OUTSTANDING!!! Anway....
We had recommended to the couple a person that we knew could provide them with uplighting for their reception. By way of explanation, uplighting is colored lights placed on the floor around a large room, pointing up toward the ceiling creating a very classy, jazzy atmosphere. The hall wouldn't let any of us vendors in to set up until an hour before the reception was supposed to start.
The couple was very nice and we really enjoyed our meetings with them. The groom is head chef for a large, upscale series of restaurants in metro-Detroit and was understandably particular about the details for the reception. The lighting provider is a young man who also DJ's in the area. We had met him before at bridal shows and he has a very, let's see, self-promoting persona. [read: arrogant]
Mario & he have gotten along (who doesn't get along with Mario?) but he is part of a "clique" of DJs that I have never trusted nor respected. Still, Mario's always much better as "schmoozing" people and so I've just stayed out of any communications with these people.
While we were setting up, the lighting guy asked us if we would do him a favor & set the lights to "sound pulse" when we started the dancing and if we would pack them up for him at the end of the night so he didn't have to come pick it up after his DJ gig somewhere else. Mario said "no" but then asked me what I thought. Not having heard Mario say "no", I said "I guess so". I was busy setting up at the time and was already feeling irritated toward the light guy for being in the way.
The night progressed and eventually the groom approached me to ask where the light guy was, indicating their contract said he would have a rep at the reception to run the lights. Since I wasn't involved in their negotiations, I told him simply that I had said I would run them for the him. Groom didn't seem happy about it.
The night continued to progress and everyone, including groom, was having a blast. But the groom became more agitated about the lights throughout, repeatedly stating that he wanted them to be pulsing to the music and they weren't doing that. I didn't know how to make them pulse & my texts to lighting-man were either rudely answered or answered not at all. Groom became quite upset (thankfully not at me, he loved us) and was beginning to show quite a lot of bravado about what he was going to do, mentioning his lawyer and all that.
We have a new assistant with us, by the way, he's very energetic & very artsy. He & Mario make a fantastic team. He is also very protective of and loyal to his friends. He informed me that he heard lighting-man make some demeaning statements to my husband earlier during set up and that he was really quite upset about it. Between him & the groom, emotions were escalating a little more than I liked. But what could I do?
I remained calm, I "talked" both men "down" for the duration of the evening. I sent a facebook inbox to the lighting-man to indicate that I had done all I could to salvage the situation for him but the groom wasn't having it and was going to confront him soon about his disappointment. I knew the groom was sending rude texts to lighting-man, I knew lighting-man was trying to put the blame on us. I addressed that directly in my email, stating "it seemed that your messages to me were attempting to blame us for this but I'm sure that can't be what you meant since your phone was dying and you had to brief. This is between you and the groom and I am giving you a heads-up that he's not happy."
The night closed and we began to tear our equipment down. Groom was "hot" on this topic by now and was riling up our assistant pretty well too. I had already determined that I would never allow business to be done with lighting-man again but was still trying to calm everyone, stating that "I would handle it". It irked me that the gentlemen were not listening to me and trusting that I, as a woman and a business owner, could and would handle things. Mario was completely silent about it at this point.
We packed everything up & the groom came to us saying, "don't take those lights with you. I'm taking them until he talks to me about this situation." Well, that put us in a bit of a pickle for sure. Mario tried to convince him that we should take the lights with us but then groom wanted us to lie & tell lighting-man that we didn't have them. Well, that would make things a mess for sure. Our assistant ended up taking the lights after we had already gotten in the truck but the whole situation was a confused, dramatic mess. Thankfully, Mario & I maintained our cool & I hope were an example to those watching.
At 1:30am after we got home, lighting-man called Mario reeming him out about the lights saying he was going to report them stolen if he didn't get them back in the next 20 minutes. He also told Mario that he "lost the gig I was giving you for October 1st because of this." He hung up on Mario as he tried to speak with him. 10 minutes later he called back and I answered the phone. *Cue the scary music*
I wish you could have heard me. Lawyer training kicking in and I'm only in the 3rd week. He started the conversation by saying, "Angel. What the hell is going on?" To which I replied, "[name], please don't swear at me. We are going to act like adults and professionals and discuss things calmly or not at all." He paused and slightly switched gears.
Looooooooonnnnngggg story shortened, the conversation consisted of me refusing to back down or allow him to place any blame on us. He repeated that we wouldn't be getting the October 1st wedding from him now & I said, "[name], we never had a wedding from you. You never gave us a contract or a deposit. No contract, no money, no wedding. That's how I work, I don't do verbal agreements. That's not how our business is run. I am under no obligation to you for anything that occured tonight, we were doing you a favor and whatever you didn't fulfill in your contract with the groom is between you and him. Don't place blame on us, I did the best I could to save your butt." He told me he understood and that the call was being recorded. I asked him why and he said because he was going to file a stolen items report...I responded, "since this is being recorded, who are you filing the report against?" He said, "the groom [name]".
I said, well I think that's completely unnecessary and I then told him I would find his lights and would return them the next day. He said, "no I want them now". I said, "well I'm tired and I've already spent enough time on a problem that isn't mine. You will get them tomorrow." He acquiesed slightly and asked me to let him know when & where I found the lights. I agreed.
Thirty minutes later I texted him and let him know that we had found his lights and they were then in our possession (yes, this is at 2am). He texted back and said, "where are they angel". So I called, whilst rolling my eyes and muttering "hello, can't you read?!" When he answered, I informed him that our assistant had obtained the lights and they were now at our house. Mario would meet him in a Walmart parking lot at 1:30pm that day to give them to him. I apologized for the confusion and demanded an apology from him. I got it without hesitation on his part.
I also indicated we wouldn't be doing business with him in the future, it wasn't worth the confusion and drama. He understood. This morning I woke up to a return facebook inbox message apologizing profusely for his behavior but indicating that he understood that I didn't want to do business with him in the future.
I stayed up until 3:30am coming down from the "high" of being so firm and from scrambling to find a resolution. Grrrrrr.... Drama, drama, drama.
Ahhhh, thank you all for reading. I feel much better and can now do my homework.
Many blessings to you!! Oh, and moral of the story: don't mess with me or insult my husband. LOL
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
It has begun
So, I'm halfway through my first week of law school. And thus far it's been much of what I expected. I have experienced the following emotions and thoughts in very quick succession for most of the week:
excited
nervous
foggy
surreal
detached
content
anxious
trusting (the Lord)
supported (Mario & family)
encouraged (friends)
silly
introspective (am I oversharing with my new classmates, am I not sharing enough?)
blessed
Mentally, earlier this week, I was worrying about money, time management, car sharing issues and well...just everything. Finally I had enough and just really buckled down, seeking the Lord for His peace which passes all understanding (Phil 4:7). Mario woke up (this of course, was in the wee hours of the morning) and prayed with me. Though he was able to roll over & fall immediately back to sleep, I stayed awake a little longer letting the Holy Spirit speak peace into my mind. I did take some medicine that the doctor gave me to help me calm down but I also really spent some time being still before the Lord. Finally I was able to fall back asleep and have slept well the rest of this week.
Physically, I've had tension headaches from all the looking down while reading and the weird lighting in the classroom and I had an IBS flare up throughout the night last night. While I did not appreciate the timing of it, I had an opportunity to choose to give my physical ailments to the Lord through Jesus' sacrifice which covers all my illness and weakness. I enjoyed a day free of headaches and IBS issues as a result. Thank YOU, Lord!!!
Mario is already poking fun at how I'm speaking to him...especially when we might not see eye-to-eye on a topic. I find this incredibly funny!!
Overall, though I'm tired I am thoroughly enjoying this new journey. I know that some days will be frustrating and hard but I also know that my Father has given me favor and if I study to show myself approved (ref. 2 Tim 2:15), He will help me and teach me. Also I know that I have been given the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16). Right now I feel like I complete everything on the assignments halfway but nothing all the way. Soon I'll get the hang of it though & I've found that all of my classmates are in exactly the same boat.
This coming week, starting on Saturday actually, I will be adding things back into my schedule. On Saturday we have a wedding to DJ. It is recommended that we students not work if we're taking 12 credits or more. I am taking 12 credit plus a non-credit introductory course. But, I have a responsibility to my clients and my husband and I'm going to do my best to be there for them. I'll also be adding back into my schedule about 15 music students. I'll teach for 2 hours on Monday evenings, for 3 1/2 hours on Wednesdays and for 1 1/2 on Thursdays. Add that to my study schedule, extra review sessions, meetings, church & Mario time....I guess that'll keep me out of trouble for a while.
excited
nervous
foggy
surreal
detached
content
anxious
trusting (the Lord)
supported (Mario & family)
encouraged (friends)
silly
introspective (am I oversharing with my new classmates, am I not sharing enough?)
blessed
Mentally, earlier this week, I was worrying about money, time management, car sharing issues and well...just everything. Finally I had enough and just really buckled down, seeking the Lord for His peace which passes all understanding (Phil 4:7). Mario woke up (this of course, was in the wee hours of the morning) and prayed with me. Though he was able to roll over & fall immediately back to sleep, I stayed awake a little longer letting the Holy Spirit speak peace into my mind. I did take some medicine that the doctor gave me to help me calm down but I also really spent some time being still before the Lord. Finally I was able to fall back asleep and have slept well the rest of this week.
Physically, I've had tension headaches from all the looking down while reading and the weird lighting in the classroom and I had an IBS flare up throughout the night last night. While I did not appreciate the timing of it, I had an opportunity to choose to give my physical ailments to the Lord through Jesus' sacrifice which covers all my illness and weakness. I enjoyed a day free of headaches and IBS issues as a result. Thank YOU, Lord!!!
Mario is already poking fun at how I'm speaking to him...especially when we might not see eye-to-eye on a topic. I find this incredibly funny!!
Overall, though I'm tired I am thoroughly enjoying this new journey. I know that some days will be frustrating and hard but I also know that my Father has given me favor and if I study to show myself approved (ref. 2 Tim 2:15), He will help me and teach me. Also I know that I have been given the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16). Right now I feel like I complete everything on the assignments halfway but nothing all the way. Soon I'll get the hang of it though & I've found that all of my classmates are in exactly the same boat.
This coming week, starting on Saturday actually, I will be adding things back into my schedule. On Saturday we have a wedding to DJ. It is recommended that we students not work if we're taking 12 credits or more. I am taking 12 credit plus a non-credit introductory course. But, I have a responsibility to my clients and my husband and I'm going to do my best to be there for them. I'll also be adding back into my schedule about 15 music students. I'll teach for 2 hours on Monday evenings, for 3 1/2 hours on Wednesdays and for 1 1/2 on Thursdays. Add that to my study schedule, extra review sessions, meetings, church & Mario time....I guess that'll keep me out of trouble for a while.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
In His care
So much has happened since my last entry. Of course I've been accepted to law school so I've been working on financial aid and trying to figure out all that I need to do. Mario and I are also revamping our personal finances and are praying for a loan modification on our home mortgage. Someone asked me (in context of a heart-to-heart discussion) yesterday if I was worried about losing our home. After thinking about it for a minute, I honestly answered "no". As long as Mario and I are together, I don't care if we're in a tiny apartment. I mean, I'd be really sad if we have to move but it would be all right.
On July 23, 2011 my great-grandma (my dad's grandmother) went to the hospital feeling nauseous, dizzy and quite ill. On or around July 26th, they finally diagnosed her with viral meningitis. I had seen her that day and though she really couldn't speak to me, she acknowledged me and Mario. I spoke quiet peaceful words to her and held her hand. Then I kissed her on the forehead and left to go teach music lessons. That night I thoroughly researched viral meningitis online. Most people recover fully from the viral version and that gave me some hope. But I also knew that being 96 years old, Grandma was tired.
On Thursday, Mario & I headed down to Ohio for a wedding we were Djing and providing a photo booth for on Friday. We were pretty relaxed though it seemed a much longer drive to Akron this time around. Friday was a logistical nightmare for us and it was dangerously hot for this outdoor wedding. We were offered one glass of water by the hall staff and were then left to fend for ourselves. Because they had no seats for us and we had to work away from the kitchen, we were also unable to eat. Whenever I had a chance to get to the bar for water, the pitchers were empty and no one was there to help. But we still pulled it together and the couple along with their guests had a fantastic time. Me, not so much.
We had decided to drive all the way home after the reception because we had another wedding (for a family friend) with photo booth & DJ the next day at home here in MI. Of course we couldn't find an open gas station at that time of night for about 30 minutes, driving on fumes. But we finally located one and got on the road. Soon we discovered that the freeway was blocked off to one-lane. Highly unusual in OH and especially at 1am. Turns out there'd been a police chase and about 5 cars were seriously smashed up. If we hadn't gotten lost and spent time at that gas station, we would have been involved in that mess. I repented to the Lord for my horrible attitude and asked Mario for forgiveness for having been witchy all day.
As Mario drove, I checked my facebook account on my phone. Scrolling through the news feed, I noticed a few status updates from my family that weren't specific but lead me to believe that my great-grandmother had passed away that Friday night. While I was busy whining and complaining and being a brat in general, the most amazing woman I've ever known gracefully passed over to heaven and began rejoicing. Humbled and saddened for my own selfish loss, I bawled for about 15 minutes. Then I shut it off and put my mind forward to the upcoming wedding later that day.
We arrived home at about 5am and fell exhausted into bed. Waking up at 1pm, we immediately got ready to head out for Saturday night's wedding. Praise the Lord that we had hired our friend, Nathan to help us that night! It was still devilishly hot that day and he helped with all the heavy stuff and with the photo booth. That was an incredible blessing. Because this was a family friend, I made sure that everything was as perfect as I could make it and worked well with the hall staff. I had lots of fun at this wedding. Once I was done with my portion of the job, I danced the night away with my friends and family. I had a blast!
We arrived home after 2am, I took a shower & was in bed by 3am. At about 5, I woke up feeling extremely ill. I couldn't tell if it was because I had had a few glasses of wine at the wedding or what was going on. I didn't think so because I'd felt just fine when I went to bed. But I spent a lot of time in the bathroom and when the vomiting started I knew I was not doing too well. Rather than waste a lot of time, I decided I need to go to the ER. Trying to wake Mario up failed miserably (poor guy) so I drove myself to the nearest hospital. When I arrived, my blood presssure was 71/62. Not good, I guess.
So I got rehydrated for the next four hours and suffered through many panic attacks. Alone. But yet, I wasn't alone. I was too weak to concentrate much but I did talk to the Lord a bit. And He sustained me. I was unable to call anyone from the hospital room (no reception in there) and even later I only told one aunt of mine (which I vaguely remember). It was my mom's birthday and coming so quickly on the heels of my great-grandma's death, I didn't want to ruin her special day even more. So, I came home and laid around the whole rest of the day. Since then, I've been on a toast, cracker, broth diet. Until last night when I ventured to have a chicken sandwich and ate the whole thing!
On Monday, my family came into town and we had an afternoon and evening at the funeral home, greeting all the people who have been touched by my extraordinary great-grandma. She certainly was amazing. Made very person feel special to her and had a unique relationship with each one. Tuesday, August 2nd we had the funeral. April (my sis) and I were honored to sing two hymns, "Trust and Obey" (Grandma's most common phrase) and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" (a song she told me meant much to her). I did not go to the cemetary because of my recent health but went home with my sister, her children and with Mario.
Though my parents left that day to go home, April & Paul stayed one more night with us and I really enjoyed just sitting around relaxing with them. On Wednesday & Thursday I was able to somewhat get back into a normal routine and on Friday got to chill with my Mario.
Today we have another outdoor wedding. I'm not looking forward to working outside in the heat again but thankfully my cousin, Jessica is coming to pick me up early, bring me home & sit around watching movies. Mario insists he can close the reception out & tear down perfectly fine without me. I'm glad for that.
I realize that this is just a summary of all that's happened this week but it will open the door for me to delve into good, happy memories in the next few weeks. And I'm looking forward to that.
On July 23, 2011 my great-grandma (my dad's grandmother) went to the hospital feeling nauseous, dizzy and quite ill. On or around July 26th, they finally diagnosed her with viral meningitis. I had seen her that day and though she really couldn't speak to me, she acknowledged me and Mario. I spoke quiet peaceful words to her and held her hand. Then I kissed her on the forehead and left to go teach music lessons. That night I thoroughly researched viral meningitis online. Most people recover fully from the viral version and that gave me some hope. But I also knew that being 96 years old, Grandma was tired.
On Thursday, Mario & I headed down to Ohio for a wedding we were Djing and providing a photo booth for on Friday. We were pretty relaxed though it seemed a much longer drive to Akron this time around. Friday was a logistical nightmare for us and it was dangerously hot for this outdoor wedding. We were offered one glass of water by the hall staff and were then left to fend for ourselves. Because they had no seats for us and we had to work away from the kitchen, we were also unable to eat. Whenever I had a chance to get to the bar for water, the pitchers were empty and no one was there to help. But we still pulled it together and the couple along with their guests had a fantastic time. Me, not so much.
We had decided to drive all the way home after the reception because we had another wedding (for a family friend) with photo booth & DJ the next day at home here in MI. Of course we couldn't find an open gas station at that time of night for about 30 minutes, driving on fumes. But we finally located one and got on the road. Soon we discovered that the freeway was blocked off to one-lane. Highly unusual in OH and especially at 1am. Turns out there'd been a police chase and about 5 cars were seriously smashed up. If we hadn't gotten lost and spent time at that gas station, we would have been involved in that mess. I repented to the Lord for my horrible attitude and asked Mario for forgiveness for having been witchy all day.
As Mario drove, I checked my facebook account on my phone. Scrolling through the news feed, I noticed a few status updates from my family that weren't specific but lead me to believe that my great-grandmother had passed away that Friday night. While I was busy whining and complaining and being a brat in general, the most amazing woman I've ever known gracefully passed over to heaven and began rejoicing. Humbled and saddened for my own selfish loss, I bawled for about 15 minutes. Then I shut it off and put my mind forward to the upcoming wedding later that day.
We arrived home at about 5am and fell exhausted into bed. Waking up at 1pm, we immediately got ready to head out for Saturday night's wedding. Praise the Lord that we had hired our friend, Nathan to help us that night! It was still devilishly hot that day and he helped with all the heavy stuff and with the photo booth. That was an incredible blessing. Because this was a family friend, I made sure that everything was as perfect as I could make it and worked well with the hall staff. I had lots of fun at this wedding. Once I was done with my portion of the job, I danced the night away with my friends and family. I had a blast!
We arrived home after 2am, I took a shower & was in bed by 3am. At about 5, I woke up feeling extremely ill. I couldn't tell if it was because I had had a few glasses of wine at the wedding or what was going on. I didn't think so because I'd felt just fine when I went to bed. But I spent a lot of time in the bathroom and when the vomiting started I knew I was not doing too well. Rather than waste a lot of time, I decided I need to go to the ER. Trying to wake Mario up failed miserably (poor guy) so I drove myself to the nearest hospital. When I arrived, my blood presssure was 71/62. Not good, I guess.
So I got rehydrated for the next four hours and suffered through many panic attacks. Alone. But yet, I wasn't alone. I was too weak to concentrate much but I did talk to the Lord a bit. And He sustained me. I was unable to call anyone from the hospital room (no reception in there) and even later I only told one aunt of mine (which I vaguely remember). It was my mom's birthday and coming so quickly on the heels of my great-grandma's death, I didn't want to ruin her special day even more. So, I came home and laid around the whole rest of the day. Since then, I've been on a toast, cracker, broth diet. Until last night when I ventured to have a chicken sandwich and ate the whole thing!
On Monday, my family came into town and we had an afternoon and evening at the funeral home, greeting all the people who have been touched by my extraordinary great-grandma. She certainly was amazing. Made very person feel special to her and had a unique relationship with each one. Tuesday, August 2nd we had the funeral. April (my sis) and I were honored to sing two hymns, "Trust and Obey" (Grandma's most common phrase) and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" (a song she told me meant much to her). I did not go to the cemetary because of my recent health but went home with my sister, her children and with Mario.
Though my parents left that day to go home, April & Paul stayed one more night with us and I really enjoyed just sitting around relaxing with them. On Wednesday & Thursday I was able to somewhat get back into a normal routine and on Friday got to chill with my Mario.
Today we have another outdoor wedding. I'm not looking forward to working outside in the heat again but thankfully my cousin, Jessica is coming to pick me up early, bring me home & sit around watching movies. Mario insists he can close the reception out & tear down perfectly fine without me. I'm glad for that.
I realize that this is just a summary of all that's happened this week but it will open the door for me to delve into good, happy memories in the next few weeks. And I'm looking forward to that.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Things to think about
Trusting that God is more than capable of taming my wildness, moving the mountains and providing for me, His precious princess.
Praying for favor with the mortgage loan remodification.
Taking time to enjoy the summer, the gorgeous weather, my awesome garden.
Instead of being anxious about planning people's weddings, enjoy getting to know the couples, celebrating their most special day, being sure I have a chance to touch their lives for good.
Allowing myself to make mistakes, treating mistakes with humor.
Using my words to encourage my husband, letting him know how incredible he is.
Doing special little things to bless Mario.
Be able to listen to a friend without trying to offer advice. Just listen and sympathesize without taking on her burden for myself.
Say no and don't feel guilty about it.
Be okay with a slightly messy house. Be not okay with a slightly messy spiritual life.
Keep working out and making good meal choices.
While getting ready to start a huge new adventure at school, breathe in & out calmly. Be all right with admitting I don't know something and with asking many questions.
Be sweet but be firm.
Put the phone down and walk away from it for a while.
Pray. Spend time meditating on the goodness of the Lord.
Praying for favor with the mortgage loan remodification.
Taking time to enjoy the summer, the gorgeous weather, my awesome garden.
Instead of being anxious about planning people's weddings, enjoy getting to know the couples, celebrating their most special day, being sure I have a chance to touch their lives for good.
Allowing myself to make mistakes, treating mistakes with humor.
Using my words to encourage my husband, letting him know how incredible he is.
Doing special little things to bless Mario.
Be able to listen to a friend without trying to offer advice. Just listen and sympathesize without taking on her burden for myself.
Say no and don't feel guilty about it.
Be okay with a slightly messy house. Be not okay with a slightly messy spiritual life.
Keep working out and making good meal choices.
While getting ready to start a huge new adventure at school, breathe in & out calmly. Be all right with admitting I don't know something and with asking many questions.
Be sweet but be firm.
Put the phone down and walk away from it for a while.
Pray. Spend time meditating on the goodness of the Lord.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
What's this feeling?
Today I enjoyed getting up later than I have in the past few days. I'm gonna have to start forcing myself into an earlier bedtime and an earlier wake up time. I don't want to be doing that in my first week of school. LOL
I sat around for a bit then drove up to Kinko's to fax additional documents to the mortgage company. I've submitted a loan modification request and am praying for favor and for them to approve a modification that we can afford.
After I came home, I trimmed the tree branches of our whatever-that-gorgeous-tree is out in our front landscaping. My arms always hurt so bad when I do it. I started it on Monday but since I'd spent the morning at my first yoga class with BFF Heidi, my muscles weren't having any of that. But I finished it today without too much trouble. I noticed the past year that when I start a project like that I always feel like I MUST finish it right then and there. If I don't, I feel lke I've failed somehow. But, this year I've realized that is a lie straight from the pit and I am only capable of doing what my body can physically handle at that moment. And it's perfectly okay.
So, I trimmed the tree branches, tidied up the gardening equipment and changed into my bathing suit. Note to self, it's much easier to begin a sweaty job already wearing the swimsuit. Because when I'm sweaty & trying to stuff myself into it after the job is finished, it's quite an unnecessary workout. When I succeeded I went back out & watered our landscaping and our GIANT garden. The peppers, zucchini, cucumbers & tomatoes are all coming along well. A bumper crop this year!
Then I peeled the protective tarp (my genius idea) off the inflatable swimming pool I bought and lowered myself into the cool water. I ignored that the plastic floor and sides were slightly slimy, telling myself that I'd go swimming in a lake and it would be grosser but I'd still do it. I sat out there for half an hour, soaking up the sun & enjoying the peace & quiet. I love times like that.
Mario came out to get me so that I wouldn't boil like a lobster and after a shower, I made a little lunch. Reading the autobiography of actress Ashley Judd and sort of watching TV, I cheered when the USA women's soccer team won their semi-final match. I don't follow soccer at all but am always proud of any American team that is victorious!
Well, I'm just sitting here, enjoying my time before I have to go teach at the music store. And suddenly I feel like crying. What in the world?! I hate that. It happens a lot and I just hate it. I don't know what it means or why it happens. I can't always shake it with a prayer or a pep talk either. It's incredibly annoying. So, now I've talked/written it out and I'm sure I'll revisit the topic in future blogs. For now, I haven't got the time or the energy to deal with this nonsense.
Onward and upward!
I sat around for a bit then drove up to Kinko's to fax additional documents to the mortgage company. I've submitted a loan modification request and am praying for favor and for them to approve a modification that we can afford.
After I came home, I trimmed the tree branches of our whatever-that-gorgeous-tree is out in our front landscaping. My arms always hurt so bad when I do it. I started it on Monday but since I'd spent the morning at my first yoga class with BFF Heidi, my muscles weren't having any of that. But I finished it today without too much trouble. I noticed the past year that when I start a project like that I always feel like I MUST finish it right then and there. If I don't, I feel lke I've failed somehow. But, this year I've realized that is a lie straight from the pit and I am only capable of doing what my body can physically handle at that moment. And it's perfectly okay.
So, I trimmed the tree branches, tidied up the gardening equipment and changed into my bathing suit. Note to self, it's much easier to begin a sweaty job already wearing the swimsuit. Because when I'm sweaty & trying to stuff myself into it after the job is finished, it's quite an unnecessary workout. When I succeeded I went back out & watered our landscaping and our GIANT garden. The peppers, zucchini, cucumbers & tomatoes are all coming along well. A bumper crop this year!
Then I peeled the protective tarp (my genius idea) off the inflatable swimming pool I bought and lowered myself into the cool water. I ignored that the plastic floor and sides were slightly slimy, telling myself that I'd go swimming in a lake and it would be grosser but I'd still do it. I sat out there for half an hour, soaking up the sun & enjoying the peace & quiet. I love times like that.
Mario came out to get me so that I wouldn't boil like a lobster and after a shower, I made a little lunch. Reading the autobiography of actress Ashley Judd and sort of watching TV, I cheered when the USA women's soccer team won their semi-final match. I don't follow soccer at all but am always proud of any American team that is victorious!
Well, I'm just sitting here, enjoying my time before I have to go teach at the music store. And suddenly I feel like crying. What in the world?! I hate that. It happens a lot and I just hate it. I don't know what it means or why it happens. I can't always shake it with a prayer or a pep talk either. It's incredibly annoying. So, now I've talked/written it out and I'm sure I'll revisit the topic in future blogs. For now, I haven't got the time or the energy to deal with this nonsense.
Onward and upward!
Friday, July 1, 2011
I'm in!!
I got my score result in and it's good! Good enough to be accepted to Cooley Law School and qualify for a scholarship.
I can't believe I'm going back to school. I have a tour all set up for next week. I've updated my FAFSA. I have to borrow a little money to reserve my spot but it'll be fine. I'm ready to go.
And that's really all I have to say about that. Can't believe I'm doing this. LOL
I can't believe I'm going back to school. I have a tour all set up for next week. I've updated my FAFSA. I have to borrow a little money to reserve my spot but it'll be fine. I'm ready to go.
And that's really all I have to say about that. Can't believe I'm doing this. LOL
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
And still waiting...
I have 8 more days until I can find out my LSAT score. It's so hard for me because I want to plan my fall routine already. What if, what if, what if????? I want to know my score so that I can apply for scholarships and know how much I'll get. I want to know if I'm going to be able to attend this coming semester or if I did more poorly than I thought and have to retake the exam or choose another goal. I want to know if I'll have to start warning my students that they have to find another teacher in the fall. Start picking which ones I'll keep, if in fact, I'll be able to keep any at all. Sigh. Patience, dear self.
I'm really enjoying my teaching schedule and that the Lord has been truly blessing our DJ business more than ever. We are booked and busy. It's overwhelming at times but so worth it.
While I'm waiting for my answers, I'll just keep working and persevering and praying. It's going to be awesome, whatever the Lord has in store!
I'm really enjoying my teaching schedule and that the Lord has been truly blessing our DJ business more than ever. We are booked and busy. It's overwhelming at times but so worth it.
While I'm waiting for my answers, I'll just keep working and persevering and praying. It's going to be awesome, whatever the Lord has in store!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Harold the Third
In 1975, he was only twenty years old and had been married to the love of his life for just about 11 months. The weather was bitterly cold and hurricane-strength winds tore through town, driving sharp daggers of rain against windows and everyone was battening down the hatches for the storm of the century. He was driving a red station wagon toward their little mobile home trailer just outside of downtown Sault Sainte Marie , Michigan
The young couple had met at church the previous year and for him, it was love at first sight. She was blonde, blue-eyed and tan just graduating from high school that year. He was already in college and the moment he saw her, he thought “she’s the one for me”. When she agreed to accompany him to a youth group meeting he was pretty excited. Subsequent group dates moved things along quickly for them and after only a few weeks they were engaged to be married. Their wedding was a smaller family affair at the church where they met. After honeymooning in Florida Michigan Sault Sainte Marie
As he drove through town in the pouring rain, the wind whipping all around him, he remembered the day she told him there was going to be an addition to their little family. He was ecstatic and just a little bit nervous all rolled into one. As the oldest of six children, he knew the heavy responsibility that came with parenthood. He’d seen his parents work hard to provide for their family and he had great respect for such an important role.
His wife wore her pregnancy well, often getting whistled at by passers-by until she turned around and showed off her bulging belly. He was glad that they still spent time together studying God’s Word and believed that what had happened at the hospital the past 24 hours was going to be made good through the Lord’s compassionate plan. She had begun having contractions the day before and the labor pains really picked up speed around ten p.m. After checking in at the hospital, he got her all settled and then went to call their parents, letting them know “it’s time”. He also paused and prayed over her and their, as yet, unborn child.
Eighteen hours later and the baby still wasn’t born. Now things were getting intense and the hospital staff was worried about his wife and his baby. At practically the very last moment, when he could already see the baby’s head, they could no longer hear the baby’s heartbeat and recommended that an emergency C-section be performed immediately. Around 6 in the evening he prayed for his precious wife as they took her away. Calling their families again, he requested prayer support. Shortly after he had returned to the waiting room a nurse came out and told him that although there had indeed been some serious complications, everything was fine. The baby was a 9 pound 12 ounce girl!! They would perform a few tests on both Mama and baby now, during which he should go home and get some rest.
So there he was, driving through town in the middle of a virtual hurricane in total awe and wonder at the goodness of the Lord. He knew that their prayers had availed much and prevented the labor and birth complications from becoming lasting issues. Stopping at a little drive-in hamburger joint on the way home, he parked the station wagon facing the mouth of the river. The gales of November were blustering and billowing all around. As he munched on his burger and mused about the miracles he just witnessed, he felt the car shake mightily and the rear end of the car begin to lift off of the ground. Eyes wide open, he watched the river bank approach at an unnatural angle toward his windshield. And then, as quickly as it had lifted him, the wind whirled away and dropped his car back in its spot. Thanking the Lord for yet another miracle, he pulled out of the parking lot to rush home and check on their little house.
While his wife and baby girl were being tested and treated, he found his home being battered by the storm. With the living room windows blown out, he had no choice but to prop their mattress up against the elements and do his best to clean up the mess it had made. After mopping up the place, he got a change of clothes and headed back to the hospital. When he got back, things had settled down around his exhausted wife and the nurse was able to bring the baby in to them. The new mother held her not-so-tiny baby and cooed over her. He knew that because of the medications she wouldn’t remember much about it later but he stored that precious moment in his memory banks for her. And then he took his baby girl in his arms for the first time. And for the second time in his life, it was love at first sight.
Years later, when their second daughter was born and whisked away to a different hospital’s neo-natal intensive care, he would remember God’s faithfulness at the birth of this first child and he knew that placing his trust in God was his only choice. He decided that he would trust God and that has become his legacy to both of his girls. As he and his wife raised their miracle children, they chose to honor God, to trust Him and to defer to His Word in every instance.
The girls watched their father work hard in the family business to care for them and the oldest daughter has determined to take the lessons she learned from him and apply them in her own life. She is amazed at the amount of patience he had with her when she was a teenager, trying out her wings. She remembers his strength and steadfastness when she was hit by a car at the age of fifteen. Her Dad is hilarious, trustworthy, full of integrity and not easily provoked. His love for all things musical brought a unity to their family from the time the girls were small. They all enjoy playing and singing together for the glory of God. He is a strong Christian and was always spiritually and physically protective of all three of his “girls”. He has extended that protectiveness to his sons-in-law and to his three grandchildren.
His business associates respect him; he always has creative ideas and a dream in his heart. He encourages everyone around him to seek the Lord and willingly prays with and ministers to people. He builds up and doesn’t tear down. He dreams big and hopes much. His beliefs are rock solid and even when challenged through adversity, he still stands strong. His wife loves him deeply and his children and grandchildren call him blessed.
Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! Love, Chopper
Note: Some non-essential creative liberties were taken with this story. For example, whether any mopping up of the little mobile home actually occured that day. All the rest is true.
Miscellany
WARNING: this is a long one...
This past Monday I was on voice rest & really should have been on voice rest Tuesday & yesterday too. I'm supposed to sing a solo on Sunday for Father's Day and don't think that's going to happen. I thought I would write a little story to read instead, maybe I'll try it out here first.
I'm not sick, it's just these allergies. Every spring I experience a little bit of seasonal asthma and some sinus issues but I don't always lose my voice because of it. Other than not being able to talk and feeling like someone's sitting on my chest from time to time, I really feel great.
So, I was glad to be able to go to Stoney Creek yesterday with Mario. I'm tired of my body being this size - I'm the biggest I've ever been - and tired of being lethargic. So I committed to doing something every day that's active, whether it's a little bit or a lot. Yesterday it was a lot. We rode our bikes for 15 minutes or so in one direction at the park. As we were riding I was thinking "this is great. We're going so fast!" Normally when I'm in an out of control situation like that, I'm terrified that something is going to happen to cause me great bodily harm. Probably a result of being hit by a car when I was 15. But this time, I thought of all the things that might happen as my bike picked up speed and instead of braking, I decided I didn't care. "This is really cool!" And then I remembered that I'd be having to go back up that hill on the way back to the truck. Mind you, this is a gradual hill, not a steep one. Yet we are both so incredibly out of shape, it might as well have been Mount Everest.
Thankfully that was about the same time that I looked back at Mario & he said, "let's turn around". So, we turned around and began the uphill climb. I'm not usually very competitive but because I've been so hard on myself lately about my body, I determined I wasn't going to walk my bike up but I was going to show myself & Mario how amazing I am by riding all the way. Hahahaha, yeah.
I got nearly all the way up but my leg muscles were practically audibly screaming at me. "Oh gosh, fine", I told my legs and got off the bike. Stretching as I waited until Mario rounded the curve in the path below me, I struggled with being embarrassed that I'd ridden so little and was already so out of breath and sore. Then I decided that I was wasting too much energy on those thoughts and began walking upward.
When I arrived at the top of the hill, I waited a bit but got a little concerned that I'd left Mario behind and because I know he's out of shape too, I decided to circle back around and ride back up the tiny remainder of the hill closer to him. And I did it! After we arrived back at our truck, I stretched and drank some water. It was so peaceful at the park and I told Mario, "let's make that hill our challenge. We'll come back to the same spot until we can both ride back up that hill without trouble." He agreed and I'm so proud of our new beginning.
As we drove out of the park, I saw a young woman - probably early twenties - pushing a jogging stroller. Yes, she could have been a nanny & not just a young mother but I turned to my sweet husband and said, "I'm glad I'm going to law school because I'd really like to have a baby and this will distract me from us not having one". He responded, "we'll have a baby, honey. I know we will." He's been so strong about his belief. He received an encouraging promise from the Lord through a preacher about 2 years ago. That was "Jacob's promise is for you too". A few weeks ago, I was ready to throw in the towel. I was frustrated and didn't even know what "Jacob's promise" was. So, we looked it up in Genesis chapter 25. And I told Mario, "well, this one is all you babe. I need you to lead me on this because I didn't get to hear the word myself and because I wasn't there, I'm going to trust God's Word through you on this." And I have been working on that faith. I don't want to be in emotional distress about it but we have been "not preventing" pregnancy for the past 5 years. I have been blessed in that I'm not a crying heap every month when I discover once again that I'm not pregnant. I've been able to truly celebrate with every one of my friends as they've been able to make that precious announcement.
I was talking to one of my friends at church who, by the way, has 6 children. I am close to most of her kids and love them very dearly. I told her that "I wish I had someone nearby to talk to about this". Honestly, it's kind of funny because every time I find someone who is experiencing the same thing Mario & I commit to pray for them. And I promise, out of probably 10 couples the past 2 or 3 years all but two have become pregnant and had children. That's AWESOME!!! How cool is that? Now, it's our turn. I pray.
Well, enough is enough. I'll have to turn the creative juices on to prepare some sort of "special" for Father's Day at church. Have a blessed day!
This past Monday I was on voice rest & really should have been on voice rest Tuesday & yesterday too. I'm supposed to sing a solo on Sunday for Father's Day and don't think that's going to happen. I thought I would write a little story to read instead, maybe I'll try it out here first.
I'm not sick, it's just these allergies. Every spring I experience a little bit of seasonal asthma and some sinus issues but I don't always lose my voice because of it. Other than not being able to talk and feeling like someone's sitting on my chest from time to time, I really feel great.
So, I was glad to be able to go to Stoney Creek yesterday with Mario. I'm tired of my body being this size - I'm the biggest I've ever been - and tired of being lethargic. So I committed to doing something every day that's active, whether it's a little bit or a lot. Yesterday it was a lot. We rode our bikes for 15 minutes or so in one direction at the park. As we were riding I was thinking "this is great. We're going so fast!" Normally when I'm in an out of control situation like that, I'm terrified that something is going to happen to cause me great bodily harm. Probably a result of being hit by a car when I was 15. But this time, I thought of all the things that might happen as my bike picked up speed and instead of braking, I decided I didn't care. "This is really cool!" And then I remembered that I'd be having to go back up that hill on the way back to the truck. Mind you, this is a gradual hill, not a steep one. Yet we are both so incredibly out of shape, it might as well have been Mount Everest.
Thankfully that was about the same time that I looked back at Mario & he said, "let's turn around". So, we turned around and began the uphill climb. I'm not usually very competitive but because I've been so hard on myself lately about my body, I determined I wasn't going to walk my bike up but I was going to show myself & Mario how amazing I am by riding all the way. Hahahaha, yeah.
I got nearly all the way up but my leg muscles were practically audibly screaming at me. "Oh gosh, fine", I told my legs and got off the bike. Stretching as I waited until Mario rounded the curve in the path below me, I struggled with being embarrassed that I'd ridden so little and was already so out of breath and sore. Then I decided that I was wasting too much energy on those thoughts and began walking upward.
When I arrived at the top of the hill, I waited a bit but got a little concerned that I'd left Mario behind and because I know he's out of shape too, I decided to circle back around and ride back up the tiny remainder of the hill closer to him. And I did it! After we arrived back at our truck, I stretched and drank some water. It was so peaceful at the park and I told Mario, "let's make that hill our challenge. We'll come back to the same spot until we can both ride back up that hill without trouble." He agreed and I'm so proud of our new beginning.
As we drove out of the park, I saw a young woman - probably early twenties - pushing a jogging stroller. Yes, she could have been a nanny & not just a young mother but I turned to my sweet husband and said, "I'm glad I'm going to law school because I'd really like to have a baby and this will distract me from us not having one". He responded, "we'll have a baby, honey. I know we will." He's been so strong about his belief. He received an encouraging promise from the Lord through a preacher about 2 years ago. That was "Jacob's promise is for you too". A few weeks ago, I was ready to throw in the towel. I was frustrated and didn't even know what "Jacob's promise" was. So, we looked it up in Genesis chapter 25. And I told Mario, "well, this one is all you babe. I need you to lead me on this because I didn't get to hear the word myself and because I wasn't there, I'm going to trust God's Word through you on this." And I have been working on that faith. I don't want to be in emotional distress about it but we have been "not preventing" pregnancy for the past 5 years. I have been blessed in that I'm not a crying heap every month when I discover once again that I'm not pregnant. I've been able to truly celebrate with every one of my friends as they've been able to make that precious announcement.
I was talking to one of my friends at church who, by the way, has 6 children. I am close to most of her kids and love them very dearly. I told her that "I wish I had someone nearby to talk to about this". Honestly, it's kind of funny because every time I find someone who is experiencing the same thing Mario & I commit to pray for them. And I promise, out of probably 10 couples the past 2 or 3 years all but two have become pregnant and had children. That's AWESOME!!! How cool is that? Now, it's our turn. I pray.
Well, enough is enough. I'll have to turn the creative juices on to prepare some sort of "special" for Father's Day at church. Have a blessed day!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
LSAT completed
I completed the LSAT exam this past Monday, 6/6/11. It was a grueling 4 hours long but overall, I feel good about it. I will find out the score on 6/29. Until then....*thumbs twiddling*
Not much else to report this week except that I'm still getting used to only teaching music lessons and not having another day job. It's so weird to not have to wake up to an alarm. I love it, that's true but it's awfully weird.
I really need to get myself in gear though and exercise every day. My body is tired and it is getting larger every day. I can't stand that so, while keeping myself in check so I don't revisit the anorexic routine, I'll need to get off my slothful rear end and get myself a'movin'...
Starting tomorrow. I plan to get up and take a bike ride or at least take a walk around the block a few times. This is my only goal this week. Well, not really. But it's the most important goal.
More later this week...
Not much else to report this week except that I'm still getting used to only teaching music lessons and not having another day job. It's so weird to not have to wake up to an alarm. I love it, that's true but it's awfully weird.
I really need to get myself in gear though and exercise every day. My body is tired and it is getting larger every day. I can't stand that so, while keeping myself in check so I don't revisit the anorexic routine, I'll need to get off my slothful rear end and get myself a'movin'...
Starting tomorrow. I plan to get up and take a bike ride or at least take a walk around the block a few times. This is my only goal this week. Well, not really. But it's the most important goal.
More later this week...
Friday, June 3, 2011
Cheerier
Having re-read the past two posts I have determined not to be "debby downer" so much. Haha! Sheesh.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
Now, I could take that Scripture and think that I should be super optimistic and cheerful all the time in everything I say and think. And being that "a merry heart does good like a medicine" (Prov 17:22), I believe that's a good goal. However, I know that God desires an honest and willing heart more than anything. So, if I'm struggling with something, brushing it under the rug, pretending I've got it all together, what glory does that give to God? Instead if I'm honest (with a bit of caution mixed in) during my experiences, how much more might that help someone out there? We need to know we're not alone, that there is an answer (Jesus). There is a peace for our wounded souls, our anxious hearts (Jesus). There is a joy that wells up from deep inside during both the dark and bright times (Jesus). There is a full and final forgiveness, grace that flows over us every moment of every day covering all our flaws. There is a loving Father who is not waiting for my next mistake to point it out and say "see, you are worthless, you are hopeless." No, He is a gentle, compassionate God who's Holy Spirit fills my every fiber with His peace, His calm, His assurance when I have nothing left and whenever I choose to let Him do that.
Yesterday the sun was shining, it was not super hot and I got to teach 5 music lessons. The last one, Bella, is so precious. Well, they're all precious actually in their own unique ways. But Bella told me that she loves me so much because I "have so much patience with [her] when [she] doesn't understand and is so calm to help [her] learn new things". It blessed my heart to hear that. Made all the frustrations melt away and made my heart smile.
In the afternoon, my friend Carrie came by with her 8 1/2 month son and had lunch with us. Brendan just loved on me and I adored holding him and rocking him to sleep. In the evening, we spent time with friends Nate & Eliza with their two toddler sons and their youngest just followed me around all night. Blessed my little heart so much. Then we played Jump-In Uno, which I'm so slow at it's hilarious. We laughed a lot and it was good for my soul.
Today will be LSAT study day. I'll take the test on Monday afternoon and am having only a few nervous moments about it. I keep remembering that I'm going back to law school because I want to, not because I have to. I really believe that I have a purpose in that field and am really looking forward to it.
I spent the night nervous about an upcoming meeting with friends of ours. We're doing their wedding on 7/2 but have discovered that we're also booked to do another friend's wedding that same day. I'm sure it's not going to be a big deal. I'll do the 1st couple's wedding with one of our other DJs and Mario will do the other one but I just hate disappointing people. It is what it is, though, and both weddings will be awesome anyway.
I did take some medicine today to help calm my thoughts which were going in an uncontrollable cycle and I feel a little bit weak-minded every time I feel the need to take it. But I believe that the Lord has helped me by leading me in that direction. I don't take the medication regularly, always talk to Mario before I take one so that we can discuss why I'm taking it. That way we make sure that I'm not taking too much, too often and that we can cover whatever's going on with me in prayer. I am grateful for a husband who cares for me that way.
I will sign off for today and hope the my words and thoughts glorify the Lord all day and all weekend.
Today the sun is shining, it's not super hot and I am going to enjoy studying. What a good girl am I. Signing off...be blessed and let His grace cover you today.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
Now, I could take that Scripture and think that I should be super optimistic and cheerful all the time in everything I say and think. And being that "a merry heart does good like a medicine" (Prov 17:22), I believe that's a good goal. However, I know that God desires an honest and willing heart more than anything. So, if I'm struggling with something, brushing it under the rug, pretending I've got it all together, what glory does that give to God? Instead if I'm honest (with a bit of caution mixed in) during my experiences, how much more might that help someone out there? We need to know we're not alone, that there is an answer (Jesus). There is a peace for our wounded souls, our anxious hearts (Jesus). There is a joy that wells up from deep inside during both the dark and bright times (Jesus). There is a full and final forgiveness, grace that flows over us every moment of every day covering all our flaws. There is a loving Father who is not waiting for my next mistake to point it out and say "see, you are worthless, you are hopeless." No, He is a gentle, compassionate God who's Holy Spirit fills my every fiber with His peace, His calm, His assurance when I have nothing left and whenever I choose to let Him do that.
Yesterday the sun was shining, it was not super hot and I got to teach 5 music lessons. The last one, Bella, is so precious. Well, they're all precious actually in their own unique ways. But Bella told me that she loves me so much because I "have so much patience with [her] when [she] doesn't understand and is so calm to help [her] learn new things". It blessed my heart to hear that. Made all the frustrations melt away and made my heart smile.
In the afternoon, my friend Carrie came by with her 8 1/2 month son and had lunch with us. Brendan just loved on me and I adored holding him and rocking him to sleep. In the evening, we spent time with friends Nate & Eliza with their two toddler sons and their youngest just followed me around all night. Blessed my little heart so much. Then we played Jump-In Uno, which I'm so slow at it's hilarious. We laughed a lot and it was good for my soul.
Today will be LSAT study day. I'll take the test on Monday afternoon and am having only a few nervous moments about it. I keep remembering that I'm going back to law school because I want to, not because I have to. I really believe that I have a purpose in that field and am really looking forward to it.
I spent the night nervous about an upcoming meeting with friends of ours. We're doing their wedding on 7/2 but have discovered that we're also booked to do another friend's wedding that same day. I'm sure it's not going to be a big deal. I'll do the 1st couple's wedding with one of our other DJs and Mario will do the other one but I just hate disappointing people. It is what it is, though, and both weddings will be awesome anyway.
I did take some medicine today to help calm my thoughts which were going in an uncontrollable cycle and I feel a little bit weak-minded every time I feel the need to take it. But I believe that the Lord has helped me by leading me in that direction. I don't take the medication regularly, always talk to Mario before I take one so that we can discuss why I'm taking it. That way we make sure that I'm not taking too much, too often and that we can cover whatever's going on with me in prayer. I am grateful for a husband who cares for me that way.
I will sign off for today and hope the my words and thoughts glorify the Lord all day and all weekend.
Today the sun is shining, it's not super hot and I am going to enjoy studying. What a good girl am I. Signing off...be blessed and let His grace cover you today.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Not out of sorts...much
So, my dear friend Jessie, said that I seemed out of sorts in the last blog and I suppose she's right. It didn't bother me that I came across like that. Well, honestly, it did a little bit because I want everyone to be happy with me, with how I'm doing, with how I'm affecting them at all times. Turns out that's unrealistic.
Lately I've been learning that it's okay to give myself a break. To allow myself to "feel" what I'm feeling as long as I'm not creating drama for someone else. If I catch myself creating drama in someone else's life, then I know it's time to crawl back under my rock and wait for a better time. *picturing that made me chuckle*
It's okay that I don't accomplish everything on my list for today. It's fine that I say "no" to an invite or two. It's all right that I left dishes to do for tomorrow. It's going to be okay if I decide not to go to law school in August after all.
I just don't want whatever I'm dealing with psychologically and personally to affect those around me. I don't want to disappoint anyone or hurt them in any way. But I'm often overwhelmed and sometimes even randomly feel like bursting into tears. I don't want to answer my phone, I don't want to talk to anyone. But sometimes I force myself to do it out of a sense of duty. And then I feel bad that I felt it was a duty and that I should care more about people than about how I'm feeling. Endless cycle...
Still, no matter what my body & mind are doing I have this incredible sense of peace and that I'm being cared for. I'm not just saying this because I know you're reading it, but because I honestly know that I'm in the palm of Jesus my Savior's hand and I know that the plans He has for me are for my good (Jer. 29:11). I sense His deep love for me through all of this and that lessens the imagined greatness of this burden to its rightful, puny, overcome-able size. Thank You, Lord!
I had Mario pray over me tonight that I will actually and really let go of my personal plans and timeline. Tonight I was ready to give up on some things I've been wanting for a long time (and it is not because of some very cool news I heard from a close friend though she may think so while reading this). Tonight I feel like I can let go of it without giving up on it. For months I've been unable to make that distinction, so that's why I had Mario pray over me.
I'm moving on in my life, making choices to move out of this rut I've been in. Focusing no longer on what I'm missing but rather on what's next in the exciting world God has put me in. For I know that Mario & I touch lives that are on the edge, that need to know the meaning of Grace, that need to understand His deep love for each of us as individuals. It's a message that only I can share and I want a renewed fire to share it. This alone makes my little issues piddly. So, tonight I choose to focus not on fatigue, weariness, disappoint and anxiety. I choose God's victorious life, His grace over me, and His love through me.
Lately I've been learning that it's okay to give myself a break. To allow myself to "feel" what I'm feeling as long as I'm not creating drama for someone else. If I catch myself creating drama in someone else's life, then I know it's time to crawl back under my rock and wait for a better time. *picturing that made me chuckle*
It's okay that I don't accomplish everything on my list for today. It's fine that I say "no" to an invite or two. It's all right that I left dishes to do for tomorrow. It's going to be okay if I decide not to go to law school in August after all.
I just don't want whatever I'm dealing with psychologically and personally to affect those around me. I don't want to disappoint anyone or hurt them in any way. But I'm often overwhelmed and sometimes even randomly feel like bursting into tears. I don't want to answer my phone, I don't want to talk to anyone. But sometimes I force myself to do it out of a sense of duty. And then I feel bad that I felt it was a duty and that I should care more about people than about how I'm feeling. Endless cycle...
Still, no matter what my body & mind are doing I have this incredible sense of peace and that I'm being cared for. I'm not just saying this because I know you're reading it, but because I honestly know that I'm in the palm of Jesus my Savior's hand and I know that the plans He has for me are for my good (Jer. 29:11). I sense His deep love for me through all of this and that lessens the imagined greatness of this burden to its rightful, puny, overcome-able size. Thank You, Lord!
I had Mario pray over me tonight that I will actually and really let go of my personal plans and timeline. Tonight I was ready to give up on some things I've been wanting for a long time (and it is not because of some very cool news I heard from a close friend though she may think so while reading this). Tonight I feel like I can let go of it without giving up on it. For months I've been unable to make that distinction, so that's why I had Mario pray over me.
I'm moving on in my life, making choices to move out of this rut I've been in. Focusing no longer on what I'm missing but rather on what's next in the exciting world God has put me in. For I know that Mario & I touch lives that are on the edge, that need to know the meaning of Grace, that need to understand His deep love for each of us as individuals. It's a message that only I can share and I want a renewed fire to share it. This alone makes my little issues piddly. So, tonight I choose to focus not on fatigue, weariness, disappoint and anxiety. I choose God's victorious life, His grace over me, and His love through me.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
It's been too long
It's been so long since I last wrote here. I kept thinking, "who in the world wants to read anything about me?"
But I believe it'll keep my writing senses sharpened and someday someone might stumble upon one of my experiences and it'll help them through one of their own.
Today I've been dealing with several things. Actually, I've been dealing with some of this for more than a year. Being 35 and a woman, lots of things have changed. My body is "acting up" & I'm unable to do things like I used to (ie: DJing with mario until the wee hours of the morning and leaping out of bed cheerfully the next day....yeah, ok maybe not cheerfully). My emotions are just, to put it plainly, wacky most of the time.
I feel like I know less now of what I want to do in life than I did when I was 25. My career is not what I thought it'd be, I have no children, I am not rich nor am I famous. Haha!
I am, however, happily married to a talented and delightful man. I have decided to take the LSAT to see if I can get into law school. I no longer care that I'm not using my Bachelor's degree. I am content with our home, though it needs much TLC.
My immediate family no longer lives near us and I'm torn by this. I'm happy that they're safe, pursuing what's best for them. But I miss them terribly. I'm less dependent on them for things like baked goods and yummy dinners. I miss spending Sunday afternoons at their house. *Sigh*
I'm worried that I'm not a good enough friend, that I haven't enough to give. At the same time, I know that I don't and that the Lord has to provide for my friends & family, not me. But I am pursued by guilt if I miss a call or say the wrong thing.
I am not managing my time well enough since I no longer have a "day job". I should be studying and I vacuum the floors instead. I should be doing laundry and I'm studying instead. The only thing I do on time and well is teaching private music lessons. Or being an Emcee at weddings and helping Mario with his DJ company. And right now I'm tired of doing all of that. I want to sit on my couch and read and eat bon-bons all day.
I'm frustrated with the changes in my body. Gaining weight (although now it seems I'm a "normal person" size), feeling overly slothful.....
Missing church because we were DJing or traveling. That's something I never did until this past year.
These are the things pressing on my mind and swirling in my heart this week. It's a good thing that I read "He who began a good work in you, is faithful to complete it". Phillipians 1:6
But I believe it'll keep my writing senses sharpened and someday someone might stumble upon one of my experiences and it'll help them through one of their own.
Today I've been dealing with several things. Actually, I've been dealing with some of this for more than a year. Being 35 and a woman, lots of things have changed. My body is "acting up" & I'm unable to do things like I used to (ie: DJing with mario until the wee hours of the morning and leaping out of bed cheerfully the next day....yeah, ok maybe not cheerfully). My emotions are just, to put it plainly, wacky most of the time.
I feel like I know less now of what I want to do in life than I did when I was 25. My career is not what I thought it'd be, I have no children, I am not rich nor am I famous. Haha!
I am, however, happily married to a talented and delightful man. I have decided to take the LSAT to see if I can get into law school. I no longer care that I'm not using my Bachelor's degree. I am content with our home, though it needs much TLC.
My immediate family no longer lives near us and I'm torn by this. I'm happy that they're safe, pursuing what's best for them. But I miss them terribly. I'm less dependent on them for things like baked goods and yummy dinners. I miss spending Sunday afternoons at their house. *Sigh*
I'm worried that I'm not a good enough friend, that I haven't enough to give. At the same time, I know that I don't and that the Lord has to provide for my friends & family, not me. But I am pursued by guilt if I miss a call or say the wrong thing.
I am not managing my time well enough since I no longer have a "day job". I should be studying and I vacuum the floors instead. I should be doing laundry and I'm studying instead. The only thing I do on time and well is teaching private music lessons. Or being an Emcee at weddings and helping Mario with his DJ company. And right now I'm tired of doing all of that. I want to sit on my couch and read and eat bon-bons all day.
I'm frustrated with the changes in my body. Gaining weight (although now it seems I'm a "normal person" size), feeling overly slothful.....
Missing church because we were DJing or traveling. That's something I never did until this past year.
These are the things pressing on my mind and swirling in my heart this week. It's a good thing that I read "He who began a good work in you, is faithful to complete it". Phillipians 1:6
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